The Kids

Having spent the last couple of weeks at a prep school, I've spoken remarkably little about the kids themselves, and what they're like as a whole. Being a gappy, we spend the majority of our time with the younger kids, as we are class assistants for years 1 to 4, however, you do see the older kids in house during duty, on the sports pitches, and during lunch.
What I've been astonished by, is the contrast between the average british prep school child, and an average Pembroke child. I mean no harm to british prep schools when I say this, (as I my self was lucky enough to go to one, and had the most amazing time) but from day one of my time at Pembroke, everyone has been so welcoming, friendly and well mannored.
For starters, every morning they have an inspection of dorms (something, I'm sure, my father would highly recommend to british prep schools. Each dorm consists of 6-8 members, and is marked out of 5 every morning. It's a hugely competitive inter-dorm competition, with hockey sticks used to straighten every inch of crease on one's duvet. Every dorm is immaculate, and when one is awarded even a 4.5 (which I foolishly gave out on day one) tears are involved. I, personally, could never see this happening in the UK.
There are also a few quirkey, traditions that they stand by as kids. There is a bridge just before you come up to the school gate, which has "pembroke house" written on it, and every time the kids come back from a school outing/match, they do a three cheers to all the staff on the bus. They then get to the school gates, and because security is so huge at pembroke, (understandably) all the kids shouts "take your last breath of freedom!" with a LOT of huffing and puffing involved.
Because a large majority of the children are brought up around Kenya, they are all very out doorsy, which suddenly came to my attention this morning, when doing spelling with two of the kids outside. So we were sitting on a bench on Pres Lawn (very rebellious) doing our spelling, when suddening Kyle perked up and shouted "LOOK". I looked, puzzled at him, for him to then pluck an ant off the lawn with amazing ease, rip its head off, and eat it. Inevitably, i asked him "Why on earth did you do that?", for him to answer, particularly bluntly, "I was hungry", as if this was something he regularly does. This particular child lives in the Masai Mara, which perhaps explains this. He later told me that his favourite are flys.
Thanks for reading, and I hope that gave you a slight insight to the differences in children of that in the UK

H

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Travelling around Kenya

Kipper the Lizard

Return of the King

Hello all,

As you may have guessed, MC Briz Dog has returned for his weekly column. Strap yourselves in and enjoy the ride......

Perhaps the big news of the week, as Super Sophie guessed (she's 25 you know AND she worked in Parliament #bigdeal), is the blossoming romances among the gaps (or lack of it). Tilly's plan to play hard to get is working a treat and Jodie's recent 4 year anniversary means she's out of the game.

In consequence, we have all turned to drink to drown our sorrows. I think James wanted to drown the bushes outside of the club as well. A bottle of port later and many Tuskers (or gin and tonics for the more refined) led to a turbulent evening. James' talent for spontaneous gardening should be put on hold for a few years. Just stick to drumming and tanning mate!

In other news, I was privileged to be included in the trip to Nakuru last week after the embers of a certain Rose and Leo had been put well and truly out. Being the gastronome that I am, the Java House was a treat but the final score was Brizzle 1: double double burger 0. A place on Man vs Food has already been offered - ladies, please form an orderly queue; there is enough of me to go around.

You will all be pleased to know that Kippers has recovered from his little illness. Some reports say the gap loos sounded like there was a terrorist attack in there, but Henry assures us all otherwise. Yours truly has already been suffering from a similar ailment but my motto is #keepcalmandblundereverywhere. With the exeat on the horizon, unspecified carnage awaits so lock up your daughters everyone, the Pembroke gaps are on the loose.

Finally for today, the new gap is joining on Monday. With unconfirmed rumours that she has represented Zambia internationally at swimming, Henry has been practicing his "breaststroke". Tristan's chat might just get there first though. Let the games begin.

Till Monday.

Brizzle - bantersaurus Rex

Sheep invasion of the classrooms

The Hog Charge

For the few of you who read my posts, you'd know that I went off to Nairobi for the mighty Hog Charge. We arrived on the Saturday afternoon to a campsite, with a pool and bar. We firstly headed off to check the course out and see the sunset, and took some amazing photos. It was all a very chilled atmosphere at the campsite, with only 15 odd children camping with us. I met this lovely couple called the Francis-Jones' who live in Nairobi and have a daughter at Pembroke. It was a lovely evening.
The cycling event itself started on the Sunday morning. This is a team cycling event, with 4 boys/girls in a team. It took place in this savanna like field where there are 6 checkpoints scattered around the field, and you (as a team) need to navigate how you get to each checkpoint using a map. There is a time limit of 3 hours and is approximately 20km long. Each checkpoint is sponsored by a school, so Pembroke had checkpoint three, an its a competition,judged by the competitors, as top who has the best checkpoint. So at our checkpoint, we had Pembroke bandanas asked in ice cold water, as well as ice lollies and ice cold sponge on your back. Safe to say, we won the competition!
There was then a second competition called the gauntlet. This is much shorter, and consists of obstacles, including a mud pt with a slippery slope at the end, which made for great viewing! The sports assistants and James made a up a team and won but events in the men's event, which was pretty impressive, and worth the 50 pound entry fee for them! They each won a 6 pack of dairy fresh (this delicious flavoured milk).
The whole day was great fun, but very hot! It felt 35 degrees, and was dry heat...thank go I wasn't competing!

See y'all tomorrow

H

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James vs. the sports assistants. Spot the difference!

The Hog Charge, Peponi School

Sundowners at Hog Charge

Tills' bday and the weekend

Thursday was a big day this week, as it was none other than Tilly's birthday. As it was our half day, we firstly celebrated it with a trip down to Nakuru and Java house. The double double cheese burger was on the menu, and was devoured by James and myself. Then, for the evening, we went down to the club to celebrate properly. For some, this was a bit too much, with a bottle of port, beer, g&t, vodka and coke and wine on the menu. Its fair t say, it was a good night.
Friday was relatively uneventful, with nothing too exciting taking place, except for a top an by arsenal against the mighty Coventry.
This weekend, I'm off to do the hog charge, with is a mountain bike race in teams. I'm not too sure what do its going to entail, but it'll be a good opportunity to meet some parents properly. However, this does mean I won't be in contact fr the weekend, as I'll be in the middle of no where!
Its matches against braeburn today, which should hopefully be an easy win for all the teams! Good luck to them all.
See you on Sunday evening!

H

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Pembroke.

Hotel anyone?!

Gilgil town centre

Kids walking to school

St Andrews, Turi match

Boats and Turi

Hi all,
I do apologise to all my fans out there for my belated post...been too busy living life. So yesterday was boats race. This is an all school swimming relay event. A "boat" is a team of 4 within a year group. The number of "boats" within a year group depends on the size of the year group. And the best boat in the year group is boat 1 etc etc. There are 10 divisions all together with 4 teams in each division. If you win your race, you're promoted, and if you come last, you're relegated. This happens twice a term every term. The exciting thing is that you get year 7s racing year 3s...and losing! So yeah, all very confusing.

Today, I volunteered to be the assistant coach for the under 11As playing at St Andrews Turi. Its a school further north, about 2 hours drive away, in the middle of no where. However, its such a nice school. You'd expect that though, as its both a prep school and secondary school. Sadly, we lost 3-1, as they had this one player who was out of this world. A great effort from the lads though, especially harry with a cracking goal. But it was a great opportunity to get it of pemmers and see a bit more of Kenya. I have noticed though, having travelling around a couple of time already with their school, that you do tend to stick out like a sore thumb. As a "mazungu" (white man) travelling through towns, you do get the impression that everyone is looking at you. Especially when there are 20 screaming children in the bus, shouting "jambo".

See y'all tomorrow

H

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Malewa

Hi all,

So I headed off to Malewa yesterday with Tilly and the juniors (years 1 to 4). Malewa's this little campsite about 5 miles away, but because of the appalling road, it takes about 45 mins to get to. It was a beautiful places with a scenic backdrop to the river below. With dik dik's running around us, it was the perfect Sunday afternoon. However, it started rainy (yes, it does rain in africa-see Africa by toto), so we decided to play a game of sardines, and the older lot had a go at fishing, as you can see in the photos. It was a great opportunity to get out of the confines of Pembroke and see the "real Kenya".

Other than malewa, Sunday was quite a quiet day, with both rose and jt away at ol' pejeta. We're currently planning for the exeat and half term, so if you have any suggestions on the cast of Kenya, comment below!

Speak soon,

H

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Kenyan Banter

Hello all

Kippers has taken a break from blogging for the day. Mr Breare (see shout out) has taken over for the day - from now on a weekly columnist.

I have really discovered myself volunteering at Pembroke. I really feel like we are empowering the children to buy helicopters of their own in the future. Being selfless is such a great feeling. I m just like the gift that keeps on giving.

Being with Henry though is an inspiration - he is lighting those educational fires, not just filling buckets. I just hope his search for a "Kenyan embargoes" is a success as he is the self proclaimed boozehound - he has been donning the lashmina at the club and enjoying his bangers and lash whilst fighting for the lashional front.

The other members of staff have made us all feel so welcome. Apart from the occasional beating its been singing and dancing. Henry doesn't mind as he says it reminds him of Radley. Coaching hockey has been a bit of a challenge having never played before - I keep telling myself its just football with a stick.

Its just a short one from me this week but as you read this I would like you all to observe a minutes silence for Tristan who has been brutally placed in the friend zone by both Rose and Tilly - plenty more fish in the sea mate!!

Adios bitchados
Hasta la semana que viene

Brizzle

Pool time with JT

"Shhhh we're hiding"

Dad's arrived for the hockey!

Fishing at Malewa

Pre's lawn and the main reception

Me with Chris Frome's official yellow jersey. No biggy. Didn't fit me...far too small!

Team photo at Malewa. Fishing, sardines, and picnic with the juniors

George and Orlando during activites

Hockey vs Banda. Jack and Tristian deep in conversation

What a day.

What a day. So it was the Banda matches today, at both hockey and squash. The gaps and I were wondering around all the pitches, when suddenly I heard "Wilson?!", for me to turn around and see jack soames and tom t-d. Now, for you who don't know them, they both went to radley with me, and they're currently travelling from Kenya to SA. The were there because they're staying in Nairobi with a family whose daughter goes to banda. So great to see them, and crazy to bump into them.
Then, we had the girls squash match. Now, for a bit of context, we've only had 30 mins training. So hopes weren't high. Sadly, we lost 3-0, but was very exciting to be the solo coach! A great effort.
Then we had activities in the afternoon, which was "pre's lawn". Now this is the lawn in front of the main building, which only year 8's are allowed on. However, today was an exception where 40 odd kids were running about playing badminton, skipping, cricket, you name it.
And finally, safari simba came to talk. This is a cycling company in Kenya started up by Chris froome old coach when he lived in Kenya. Pretty cool.
To end it all off, we watched arsenal beat Fulham in bony's house (a teacher). George and I loved it.

Just another day in Kenya....

Oh, and a father arrive in a helicopter, and several by plane...as you do.

H

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George Breare

George Breare. Captain of Fc Banter. Old etonion (booo). He's been pestering me for a shout-out, so I thought I'd give him the honour. A great guy. Shame he went to Eton though (classic school banter). You'll be hearing a lot more about him in the future.

H

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Spelling

A quick note for all those who have picked up on my spelling...I write these blogs on my tablet, which I clumsily stepped on last week. This means half my tablet doesn't actually work, so I can't type some letters! But cheers for the concern haha

Day off!

Today was a half day for me, James and tills, so we decided to head off to Nakuru for the day with kitty. When I first got here, I  was amazed at how vibrant all the towns are, such as gilgil, but Nakuru if one step up. Its the third largest city in Kenya, behind Nairobi and Mombasa, and then is crazy. We first went to Nakumat which is a huge supermarket (very westernised) so we stocked up on alcohol, of course, for sundowners. We then sent to Java are,  which was basically GBK Kenyan style. Unbelievably good.
We actually had a pretty action pack afternoon as well, when we got back. We went swimming with rose and some other staff, played tennis with JT on the clay tennis courts at the golf club, played him at squash, and we gfor another swim in there evening! Speaking of squash, I had my first training session with my girls squash team on Wednesday. Our first match is on Saturday against banda. Not so sure how we're going to do, but should be fun.

Anyways, off to the club now with the gapsters.

Night ,

H

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Reading and Alarms

Had my first reading session with my class this morning. Some were much more challenging than the others, but I've heard there are much worse in the junior school! We were reading the Biff and chip books...the classics. Brought back many a nightmare. Kyle (struggles) earnt himself a house point, as I thought he needed the encouragement! He is so awesome.
I'm slowly but surely learning all 220 names...somehow they all know mine...! Tristian, Jodie "rose", and George all have half days today, and rose and trist have headed up to Nakuru, with some other teachers. Mine is on Thursday, which I can't wait for. Also, its club night..drinking from 10:30am?! I think so.
Last night, whist taking cocoa, the security alarm went off. So when this goes off, everyone runs as hard as they can towards the swimming pool, where everyone hides with Metal cutters in case they need to cut their way through the fence. However, it was a false alarm, and someone pushed it thinking that it was a light switch, so it only went off for a few seconds. But, this was enough to frighten a few who were at the west gate shootings. There are two of them in the boys house, who were by themselves during the shooting, and have seen things no grown man should see. So they were especially freaked by this alarm. But fortunately, there were no intruders...!

Merci,

H

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Children.

Yesterday, all the kids arrived with their parents, with several kids arriving by plane, as that's what happens around here. As gap students, we have to be on duty at night, and in the morning, whilst taking lessons in the morning up until lunch, and then coaching hockey. So not too much to do... My class is 3W..definitely the winning class. That means they're in year three, and taught by Mrs Watson. There's 10 of them all together, and they're so cute.
This evening at 6, thinking we were done until 7:30, we were told we had to organise "manic Mondays". This is when the year 1s to 3s, both boys and girls, head out to the sports fields, and go MANIC. 30 kids on top of me, trying they're best to take me down. So, I'm absolutely knackered! Fortunately, its the arsenal game tonight at 11pm...Mnf time people. We're all chilling in the staffroom watching hilarious YouTube videos...classic. Jacky c laughing his little head off
That's all for now. See ya'll later

H

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The Matunba - clothes market. Unbelievably cheap!

Tristian found a hat…75p

We made friends in Gilgil

Initiation.

So were all currently not doing much in the day, other than tennis, hockey, table tennis, swimming and squash. Its all very chilled at the moment, and I get the feeling its the calm before the storm. All the kids arrive tomorrow, which will be good to meet them all at last, as well as the parents. We had our meeting with DELL yesterday, explaining how the house works,. Theres one house for boys with 122 all together, each is crazy. I found it hilarious how similar the set up is to The Hill..with punishments such as standing outside, missing film night, etc.
Can't remember if I've already mentioned this, but there's a go!f clubhouse about a 5 minute walk from here, which is open every Thursday and Friday. Last night we had our initiation which involved a beam,  a bottle of Smirnoff ice, Tabasco, and being hung upside down behind the bar in front of all the other teachers. We started at 5:30pm, and finished at 3am..a solid 9.5 hours. Somehow, I managed to get up at 8am though to go for an early morning "run" with Jodie...not sure how. The altitude kills you here as well, being 7000ft above sea level!
Have fun in the cold people.

Night,
H

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Pembroke time

Hi guys! So I arrived at Pembroke yesterday, following a short 8 hour wait at Nairobi airport! The trip to Gilgil was an interesting one to say The least, with giant pot hole, mad trucks...all whilst travelling in the primary school bus with 4 other teenagers! Limited leg room to say the least.
On the way, we stopped off at a supermarket, and you begin to get a sense of the security in large public places, with two guards scanning you as you enter for any 'suspicious objects'. We also stopped off at the top on this hill, where there was the most amazing view of the surrounding countryside. We were over looking mount Longanourt.
It was great to finally meet the other gap students who I'll be working with for  the next couple of months. There's 7 of us all together...4 guys and 3 girls - tristian, James, George, Jodie, Tilly and sophie, and so far, so good! A great bunch. We all had our first visit to the gilgil golf club last night...much smaller than I expected, but great fun.
The school itself is so nice. Its a 'little england, with a Kenyan twist'. There's a pool, table tennis, sports fields, adventure playground, and, of course, a model railway (my personal favourite). All the staff are so friendly here, and all we now need is some children to get going!

That's all for now.

Speak later

H

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Arrived!

Good morning all. Just arrived in Nairobi, following my 14 hour flight. I was expecting to wait in the arrivals of Nairobi (of what there is left following the fire!) for 6 hours by myself, but i was kindly collected by Jack from Pembroke at 1am! Not so sure what would have happened otherwise...

So, I'd never previously been to Qatar, but having experienced 2 hours of it from the confines of the airport, I learnt a fair bit. If anyone's ever been to Doha airport, they'll know you have to take a 5/10 minute bus ride to the departure lounge. However, if you were fortunate enough to be travelling Business class, you'd be chauffeured by yourself in your own stretched limo. Yes, that's right, a wife stretched limo. So whilst us mere mortals in economy class waited, for what seemed an hour, in the stuffy plane, the billionaire Arabs, with their fancy head-dresses, waltzed into their transport. It does make you aware of the stark inequality in these middle east nations, which one doesn't always associate with them.

Anyway, as I attempt to sleep in the minibus with Jack and this lovely driver, I thought I'd briefly update you all.

Oh, and its 15 degrees here, and its 4am...not to make you jealous.

See you all later,

H

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At the Airport

Good morning all. The day is finally here...I'm off to Kenya (via Doha)! I'm at the gate as we speak, having said all of my farewells to the mother and father (very emotional). I'm intrigued into who I'll be sitting next to on the flight. There's a great diversity of people crowded around the gate..very few who I think are off to Kenya, however!
I know it will CME as a bit of a shock to you all, but I've already had !y first hiccup! Having purchased a lovely edition of Nelson Mandela's biography (a must!), I went about leaving my passport on the counter and walking off, only to realise I didn't have it 5 minutes later. This will come as a great reassurance to my mother, would doesn't think I'm forgetful at all...

Anyways, I better be boarding. See you all in Nairobi!

H

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